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Discipline for LIfe: Getting it Right with Children, by Madelyn Swift
Ebook Discipline for LIfe: Getting it Right with Children, by Madelyn Swift
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Being a parent can be far more challenging, frustrating, and sometimes discouraging than I ever thought it would or could be. And I was a school psychologist, an early childhood educator, and the wife of a teacher before I ever had children of my own.
“The future will depend on what we do in the present.” –Gandhi
What do you want from discipline? Better behaved, more cooperative children? Certainly! This book gives you practical, helpful techniques for accomplishing this. But don’t stop there. Discipline can accomplish so much more.
We also want emotionally healthy, respectful, responsible, self-disciplined children who know how to make sound decisions, communicate effectively, solve problems with skill, handle difficult situations with grace, and treat others with dignity.
“We must believe the things we teach our children.” –Woodrow Wilson
What does this book offer you that other books have not? When I first started working with children, I, like most teachers and parents, believed that discipline is what we do with children to get them to behave. What I did not understand is that the Latin root word for discipline is disciplina which means teaching. Sometimes, without realizing what we are doing, we teach our children lessons and practices that are potentially harmful.
For example, we reward or bribe a child and inadvertently teach him to guide his behavior with the question, “What will I get?” Or we try to use power and control and teach a child to behave only when someone else makes her. We must be able to envision our children as teens. Will this teen drive safely only when there is a police car in sight?
What we teach with our discipline at ages 2, 5 and 12, will return to help or haunt us during their adolescence and adulthood.
This book also guides us in building true character with integrity and fostering unshakeable, foundational self-esteem without overemphasizing achievement and thus, mistakes and failure. It helps us avoid pitfalls such as discouragement and helpfulness.
The tips, traps, and stories found in this book help us discipline effectively today yet keep an eye toward the future. For we shall reap what we sow.
Anyone who cares about children will appreciate this warm, humorous book presented in easy-to-use sections. Madelyn Swift provides a down to earth, yet uplifting approach to discipline, including practical tips, to help you:
•Gain cooperation without losing your mind
•Build self-esteem and develop character
•Handle mistakes positively
•Be effective without being mean or ugly
•Select discipline techniques with certainty
•Create confidence and courage
•Discipline with integrity–at last
•Avoid power struggles
•Develop respect as a second language
To those of you just opening this book and meeting Madelyn for the first time – breathe a sigh of relief. There is much common sense and good advice here; there is much caring, love, and respect in these words; and most importantly, there is Madelyn’s wisdom and her faith in you. Believe in it. Believe in your own ability. —V. R. Mathies
Additional information may be obtained at: childright.com or childright@childright.com.
- Sales Rank: #688535 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-05-23
- Released on: 2013-05-23
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
I have always believed in the basics and am so glad for that special day in Texas when I came across the person who os described my philosopy. I had really felt I was very alone in the field of edcuation with my convictions of being accountable. It was a very refreshing breath of fresh air to hear Madelyn speak and then to read her book. This book should be read by everyone in the nation. -- Attie Ward
To those of you just opening this book and meeting Madelyn for the first time - breathe a sigh of relief. There is much common sense and good advice here; there is much caring, love, and respect in these words; and most importantly, there is Madelyn's wisdom and her faith in you. Believe in it. Believe in your own ability. -- V.R. Mathies
From the Author
Being a parent is far more challenging, frustrating, and sometimes discouraging than I ever thought it would or could be. And I was a school psychologist, an early childhood educator, and the wife of a teacher before I ever had children of my own. My journey into this book, the subject of which I have been speaking about and teaching for years, began with the frustration and discouragement I experienced as our first-born began toddlerhood. I never planned to be the perfect parent; I had just expected that with all my experience with other people's children and my education (please don't laugh, I was young), I would, at least, be a good parent. Well it wasn't necessarily so. I started backwards. I sought skills first, but I could not judge their appropriateness with any tool other than, "Does it work?" I was missing the critical component of discipline, its root word, which means teaching and has been forgotten or overlooked for too long. I was at the mercy of the "experts" who so often disagree. I realized I was not seeking expertise; I was seeking and needing wisdom to help me guide my children to healthy, happy, responsible, humane adulthood. I failed to regain my integrity until I came to understand that every time I disciplined my son, I was not simply addressing and changing current behavior, I was also teaching him life lessons and principles he would use to guide his life both now and in the future. I needed not only to be effective in the present, but I also needed to teach healthy and helpful principles to my child.
Yes, you can be the parent you want to be, or at least a whole lot closer to it. And yes, being a family can be mostly healthy, happy, and a benefit to you, rather than a disappointment in your life. It is critical not only for our own sanity and our children's lives, but also for our future, that we learn to guide our children through childhood and into healthy adulthood. There is so much they need to learn and know about in order to become emotionally healthy, happy, functional adults: forming healthy relationships, developing sound and helpful communication, acquiring correct principles to guide their lives, using problem solving, being responsive to others, showing respect and taking responsibility for their actions, discovering resourcefulness and negotiating skills, building self-esteem, dealing with anger. True discipline teaches all of these. It is clear we must not only be knowledgeable in these areas, but we must also know positive ways to teach them.
From the Back Cover
Anyone who cares about children will appreciate this warm, humorous book presented in easy-to-use sections. Madelyn Swift provides a down to earth, yet uplifting approach to discipline, including practical tips, to help you:
Gain cooperation without losing your mind
Build self-esteem and develop character
Handle mistakes positively
Be effective without being mean or ugly
Select discipline techniques with certainty
Create confidence and courage
Discipline with integrity...at last
Avoid power struggles
Develop respect as a second language
Most helpful customer reviews
60 of 60 people found the following review helpful.
Getting it Right with Children
By Julie O. Keefe
Before reading this book, I would have told you that nothing I do seems to make a difference in the behavior of my children. I found myself telling other parents that I parented in two ways: threats & bribery. I found myself rewarding my kids for behavior that they should already be doing on their own and having to increase those rewards as they aged or just got smarter to the system. Madelyn Swift's book has given me a better way to discipline and now my children do listen. There are no more rewards or threats of punishment. There are disciplinary consequences. My children know that I mean what I say and trust that I will follow through. I have learned to truly discipline them to make them the best adults that they can be. There is a reduction in the stress and anger in our family. More importantly, I have come to enjoy my children much more and no longer feel angry at them when they misbehave. This book empowers you as a parent. You don't walk away feeling guilty for not doing what the "experts" say should be done but excited to know that you can make a difference in the lives of your children. Getting it Right with Children shows you how to teach your children to make the best and right choices to become self-disciplined and contributing members of the family, school and society.
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Getting it Right with Children
By Eugene Liga
As an early childhood specialist and an educator for 34 years, this book finally "gets it right" on how to "disciple" or teach children. Madelyn Swift scores an A+ on uncovering the problems with the "fad" behavior modification techniques such as "assertive discipline." Best of all she covers how to praise, how to take "love and logic" a step further, and how to separate "rewards" (bad) from celebrations (good). Anyone with children or in education will find this book full of great philosophy and down to earth suggestions for everyday "discipling."
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
I re-read this at least yearly
By Stephanie
I hung my head and cried after whacking my toddler's butt in despair. I had to admit it. I did not know what to do with my child. By the time he was in preschool, no one else knew what to do with my child either. He was such a smart kid! Too smart. As Madalyn will tell you in her workshops, don't ask for a smart kid!
I wanted more than just minute by minute get my kids to behave discipline. I wanted to espouse principles of family cooperation and contribution, character, integrity, self-reliance, self-esteem. But I also wanted to be effective. I did not want to battle the same stupid battles day in and day out.
All the other books seemed to be about being too permissive or being too strict. Basically they aimed at the wrong thing, getting my child to DO WHAT I WANT. To obey! I don't want my children to obey! I want them to THINK. I don't want them obeying the corrupt politician, or the great sounding criminal. I want them to be responsible for their actions, their choices.
Here is the best book to help my parenting compass point due north where previously it was spinning out of control. Once I knew WHY I was doing what I was doing, I could use the techniques in this book. I have measured other books with more tactical information in it against whether or not they advance the goals of integrity chrystalized in this book.
Other books I think can be used in conjunction are
Setting Limits: How to Raise Responsible, Independent Children by Providing Clear Boundaries (Revised and Expanded Second Edition)
as well as
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
I am very proud of my children. Our battles are now things of bad days and not even close to the norm. Often I hear comments about how nice, polite, kind and well behaved my kids are. I don't pat myself on the back. I say Thanks Madalyn Swift!
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